Marriage Trust Builders
About the book:
Marriage Trust Builders is about strengthening and restoring the trust in marriage. It is written to help the couples that are struggling because of weak trust in their marriages. It is also written to help marriages that have experienced broken trust. It provides guidance for the spouse who is hurting, the one who caused the pain, and also for those who are walking alongside to help.
This book is divided into three parts. Part 1 deals with the discovery of broken trust and the emotional devastation that results. It explains taking the initial right actions, disclosing facts, confronting the offender, and listening to the Holy Spirit.
Part 2 begins the rebuilding process. It involves confession, how to sever wrong relationships, recognizing the heart issues, moving toward repentance, understanding the emotions of both spouses, and explaining the why and how of forgiveness.
Part 3 discusses the importance of being aware of triggers and temptations and how to stand strong against them. It also includes how to develop accountability, how to protect the marriage, and how to invest meaningfully in the marriage. The importance of trust is explained, and several specific avenues of application are addressed.
Book Endorsements
As someone who has served as a Licensed Professional Counselor for over 15 years, I am elated to see the publication of Ellen Dean’s Marriage Trust Builders. Our discipline desperately needs a robust, wise, and biblical resource to help guide couples through the often arduous, confusing, and complex issue of marital restoration when the covenant of marriage has been violated by infidelity, and this book unquestionably meets that need. The thoughtful process she outlines in this book is truly a gift to counselors, pastors, and the couples they serve!
Jeremy Lelek, Ph.D., LPC-S, President, Association of Biblical Counselors
As a pastor, I have seen the sacred trust of couples broken in more marriages than I can count. Many times I’ve sought to help couples through a devastating breach of trust, only to struggle to find the pathway to healing. Finally, Ellen Dean has produced a resource that will provide the guidance many of us have been seeking. Not only does she bring a deep biblical understanding of what it takes to see the redemptive work of God when trust is broken, she also provides a clear pathway toward healing and restoration. I know of no other resource like this. Thank you, Ellen, for this great gift to us all!
Dr. Jeff Warren, Senior Pastor-Park Cities Baptist Church/Dallas
I am so grateful for this much needed guide that addresses this most painful of issues. Whether you are seeking to rebuild your marriage, doubting whether trust can be re-established or, like me, want to help couples who bring these painful stories my way, Marriage Trust Builders provides a biblical and realistic path for restoration and hope. I highly recommend it.
Jack Graham, Pastor, Prestonwood Baptist Church
In today’s society, many marriages are struggling. A key component in many of the struggles is an erosion of trust. In her book, Marriage Trust Builders, Ellen Dean has captured the heart of trust issues in a marital relationship. She has provided a helpful resource to help build trust and companionship in marital relationships. Although there are many books on marriage, there is a lack of resources to lead a married couple on a journey of healing. Ellen has provided such a resource in this wonderful book. She goes directly to the heart of any marriage, which is the spiritual component. Marriage Trust Builders deals with pertinent Biblical passages which outline principles of restoration. The work is broken into three sections which helps the reader discover trust issues, begin the rebuilding process, and become aware of marital trigger points. Dean discusses vital topics in marriages, such as trust erosion, confession of sin, and self-awareness. The book is strengthened by case studies from Dean’s many years of practice in Biblical counseling and self-reflective questions for both spouses. Overall, this book is a practical, Biblically-sound resource for any marriage to build trust and thrive.
Dr. Greg Ammons, Senior Pastor, FBC, Garland, TX
I have known Ellen Dean for the last thirty years, and I admire and respect her ministry of counseling. This book will serve as a great resource to those who desire a Christian approach for healing and restoration of a weak or broken marriage. Ellen provides hope that with the Lord’s help, indeed healing and restoration can take place.
Gary Cook, Chancellor, Dallas Baptist University
There is not a more practical subject to address than marriage. I like how Ellen addresses the subject of marital trust in such a tender way. You will find hope on every page, as well as practical next steps for those seeking to restore, or help others restore their marriage.
Dr. Mark Dance, Director- LifeWay Pastors
In her book, Marriage Trust Builders, Ellen Dean does a remarkable job of addressing the issue of rebuilding trust in a marriage when trust has been broken. She writes from years of experience as a biblical counselor, anchoring her work upon God's life transforming Word, in a spirit of gentleness and grace. The Lord is using this work to hold out hope to anyone or any marriage that is marred from broken trust. He is Faithful!
Steve Hardin, Campus Pastor, The Village Church, Dallas Northway Campus
I have been made aware and personally observed the positive results issuing out of the counseling ministry of Ellen Dean for years. The principles in this volume are not simply theoretical; they have been beaten out on the anvil of intense personal involvement with thousands of couples. This is a book with practical truths we can all “put a handle on” and productively apply to our own lives and marriages. Woven through the pages, sometimes subtly, sometimes more obviously, is One and only One who is known as our “Wonderful Counselor.” Read it...and reap! After all, it is never too late for a new beginning!
O.S. Hawkins, President of Guidestone
Ellen Dean has provided an excellent resource for married couples to lead them through the journey of marital healing. Pathways that address heart issues, practical responsibilities and Biblical truth to discovering, rebuilding and restoring the foundation of trust that God desires in our marriages and our personal relationship with Him.
Neal Jeffrey, Associate Pastor, Minister of Pastoral Ministries, Prestonwood Baptist Church, Dallas, Texas.
I highly recommend to you Marriage Trust Builders by my friend, Ellen Dean. In her years of counseling married couples, dealing with a variety of issues and challenges, she has gleaned a great deal of wisdom and insight into these delicate and damaging situations that happen in a marriage relationship. Anyone who has a good marriage knows that it comes about with a great deal of work and commitment. This book can be an excellent tool in helping married couples navigate these potentially crippling situations.
Chris Liebrum, Director, Office of Texas Baptists Cooperative Program Ministry, Baptist General Convention of Texas
In a day when Christian marriages between a man and woman seem to fail, Ellen Dean points to critical strategies for couples to consider to build strong families. A healthy, strong, and enduring marriage is one of the best gifts parents can give to their children and grandchildren. Ellen’s book will help you give that gift.
Albert L. Reyes, DMin, PhD, President and CEO, Buckner International
Ellen Dean's prayer has been answered! She asked God for this book to give "comfort and direction” to those experiencing marriage challenges and both have been granted in Marriage Trust Builders. Her insights on trust as a critical component for healthy marriages are wise, engaging, practical, doable and grounded. Because this work gets to the heart of the matter in marriage while giving honest assessments laced with hope, her book will be a welcomed resource to share with people in my own pastoral ministry for years to come.
Dr. David Rogers, Lead Pastor, Arapaho Road Baptist Church, Garland, Texas
I’ve been blessed by Ellen Dean’s biblical counseling ministry, both for our family and as my primary source for referrals for our church family, for years. Her writing on restoring trust in marriage will serve as a resource for me as a pastor and a tool for use in ministry with couples. It captures what I appreciate about Ellen’s ministry. It’s practical, grace-filled, and uncompromisingly biblical.
Chad Selph, Senior Pastor, First Baptist Church, Allen, Texas
As a pastor, a great part of my counseling sessions are spent addressing family issues and concerns. Spouses who committed themselves in martial vows sometimes find out that the fairy tale of living “happily ever after” is often more challenging then they could have ever imagined. Misconceptions, broken trust, false expectations and all contribute to couples that were once happy end up hating and despising one another with a passion. By the time many of these couples enter my office, a great deal of damage in the marriage has already been done. And I am now in a position as the last ditch effort to help them put the shattered pieces of the once fairy tale turned horror story into something salvageable.
As I sit and hear from both sides through their arguments, harsh words, disappointments and anger, and try to make sense of the madness before me, I know that my task is to walk with these couples to make the best of a devastating situation. The book, Marriage Trust Builders, is a tool that can be used in various counseling sessions to assist couples in working through the hurt and pain to restore broken relationships. What this book presents is a biblical approach to helping couples see how God desires for them to work through their marriage crises and begin the rebuilding phase.
The book also is not only filled with biblical passages that help the counselor and the couple think about what God desires in marriage, but the practical stories and examples to help families understand that they are not the only ones facing challenges in marriage. The hope that the book brings out is that marriages can be rebuilt and love can be reestablished through hard work and commitment.
After reading parts of this work, I would suggest that every pastor read this book to help develop a framework in their marriage counseling sessions and also consider using the book in marriage seminars and retreats to help strengthen marriages within the church.
Chris Simmons, Pastor of Cornerstone Baptist Church, Dallas, TX
I highly recommend this book. I have known Ellen and her husband, Bob, for almost a decade. It has been my privilege to serve as their Pastor. I have seen them display everything that Ellen writes in her book. They love and serve each other with integrity and grace. Ellen writes not just from her head but from her heart. She communicates not just on a theoretical level, but on a very practical and experiential level. Ellen references countless situations that couples face. As you read her book, you will begin to think that she has been closely observing your marriage, and you will also be convinced that the counsel she shares won’t just help your marriage, it will transform it.
Dr. Gary Singleton, Senior Pastor, The Heights Baptist Church, Richardson, Texas
Today, there are many books about marriage, but Marriage Trust Builders is unique. God has been using Ellen Dean for over 20 years to help hundreds of couples restore trust in their marriage. She uses a Biblical model of counseling which offers true hope and the power to change the lives of couples. Ellen and Bob Dean have been married over 40 years and have served in ministry together through these years.
Ellen has applied the insights that she has learned about the common obstacles and difficulties faced by couples with broken trust in writing this practical and Biblical guide. It is full of scripture and practical examples. It will be a help to any couple needing to strengthen the trust in their marriage. This book will be useful to pastors, counselors, and friends seeking to help struggling couples.
Dr. David W. Smith, Executive Director, Austin Baptist Association
In Marriage Trust Builders, Ellen Dean gives practical and essential guidance for the long and tough journey to reestablish the foundation of trust that every great marriage is built upon.
Steve Stroope, Lead Pastor, Lake Pointe Church, Rockwall, Texas
The process of healing from broken trust within a relationship is often messy, but with God as the author of your story, He can transform the situation into a beautiful mess. In this book, Ellen shares sage guidance on the process of restoring trust in a marriage while consistently and beautifully pointing the couple to Christ and His Word for ultimate healing of the relationship. Trust is a foundational element for any healthy marriage and this book will encourage and support couples toward building or rebuilding the bedrock of their marriage.
Katie Swafford M.A., L.P.C.-S., Ph.D. in Leadership, Director, Texas Baptists Counseling Services Connections Team
As have many others, I have been sending folks to Ellen Dean for marital counseling for years. The reason is simple. I have complete confidence in her ability to help folks. Her new book Marriage Trust Builders offers more of the Biblical, straight shooting, practical help that we have come to expect from her. Read it, and share it with your folks! You won’t be sorry! Thanks, Ellen!
Steve Swofford, Pastor, First Baptist Church, Rockwall, Texas
God’s word does not return void, and Marriage Trust Builders does not disappoint. Saturated in the Scriptures and seasoned with wisdom, Ellen not only identifies pressing issues facing couples in every season, but graciously points to solutions to better every marriage. Her years of counseling and love of God has produced a work that is both excellent and sure to benefit the body of Christ to the glory of God and the joy of your soul.
Dr. Adam Wright, President of Dallas Baptist University